15 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Caretaker for Your Parents
The questions that predict whether a caretaker will work out are not about kindness — everyone is kind in an interview. They are about distance, experience with your parent’s actual condition, what they will and will not do, who verified them, and what happens on the day they cannot come. Ask these fifteen, listen for the specific answer, and be suspicious of the vague one.
Distance and continuity
- 1. Where do you live, and how long is the journey here, door to door, at 7 a.m.? — More than an hour each way rarely lasts a month.
- 2. How long were you in your last two placements, and why did each end? — A pattern of short stays is a pattern.
- 3. Are you able to do this shift six days a week for the whole tenure? — Ask about festivals and village visits now, not in October.
Experience with the actual condition
- 4. Have you cared for someone with [dementia / after a stroke / bedridden / with a catheter]? Tell me about a hard day. — A real story has details.
- 5. How do you turn a patient who cannot help you? Show me. — Technique protects both backs.
- 6. What would you do if my mother refused to bathe? — "Force her" is the wrong answer; "come back in twenty minutes, try a different way" is the right one.
- 7. What signs would make you call me or the doctor immediately? — Fever, breathlessness, a fall, confusion, a red patch on the skin. Someone who cannot name these needs training.
Boundaries
- 8. What is not part of your job? — A good caretaker says: household cooking and cleaning, injections and dressings. One who says "anything" will burn out or overstep.
- 9. Are you comfortable with personal care — bathing, toileting — for a man / a woman? — Ask plainly; ask your parent too.
- 10. Will you give medicines? — From a written schedule, yes; deciding doses, never.
Verification and the agency
- 11. Who verified your identity and qualification, and how? — DigiLocker-based verification is the standard; a photocopy of a card is not.
- 12. If you are ill, who comes instead, and by when? — With an agency, the answer should be a person and a time. Privately, the answer is usually "nobody".
- 13. Who do I call at 2 a.m.? — There should be a number, and someone who answers it.
- 14. How is the shift recorded — how do I know you arrived and left on time? — Check-in from an app with a PIN the family holds is what Eldrly uses; a notebook is not.
- 15. What is the total monthly cost, and what is extra? — Get it written down. Sundays, festivals, travel, and what happens to the fee on a day missed.
After the interview
Introduce them to your parent and watch the first ten minutes: do they speak to your parent or about them? Agree a two-week trial with a clear end date. Write down the routine — times, medicines, diet, what to report — and hand it over on day one. Most placements that fail, fail because nobody wrote the routine down.
Frequently asked questions
What should I check before hiring a caretaker?
Identity and qualification verification, distance from your home, experience with your parent’s specific condition, what they will not do, and who replaces them when they are ill. Get the cost and the routine in writing.
Is it better to hire a caretaker privately or through an agency?
Privately is cheaper on paper and carries every risk yourself: no verification, no replacement, nobody to call. A service like Eldrly costs more than the cheapest private quote and includes all three, with the caretaker matched by travel time.
Should the caretaker live in?
A live-in is one exhausted person on duty for 24 hours. Two 12-hour shifts with two rested people is safer and lasts. Eldrly sells shifts, not live-in staff.
How do I know the caretaker actually came?
Eldrly caretakers check in from the app and the family confirms the first and last visit with a 4-digit PIN. Privately, you rely on trust or a neighbour.